


Shark Week

by rachelladytietjenswrites (heliophilenz)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean learns something about women, Feminist Themes, Gen, Menstruation, Zoe!verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 02:27:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10754823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heliophilenz/pseuds/rachelladytietjenswrites
Summary: Dean learns something about women when Shark Week hits their researcher Zoe.





	Shark Week

 

Under ordinary circumstances, Zoe’s periods went almost unnoticed.

Which was a relief to Dean as he’d never had to deal with ‘girl stuff’ on a regular basis. Despite his interest in -and appreciation of- women, he’d never actually spent any significant length of time around one. Sam had lived with Jess for a year and a half, which made him the subject matter expert on this particular topic, and at his urging they had both installed period tracker apps on their phones. Being more able to go with the flow (ew, flow), Sam ignored his and was just- Sam. Dean, however, found the technological support invaluable, over time realising that Zoe’s periods fell into three main types.

The painful ones were easily identifiable - she moved tentatively, with the slightest hunch to her shoulders. She slept and ate more, trying to ride it out. Strategic application of chocolate, ice cream, and hot water bottles would result in a soothed and grateful Zoe. Difficulty factor 2 out of 5 now that he had app set to warn him a couple of days beforehand.

Less common were the ones where she barely seemed to notice it herself. Difficulty factor 0.

But once in a blue moon world war 3 hit. Zoe would be short-tempered, impatient, quick to take offence, and thoroughly fucking vicious with her verbal barbs. Difficulty factor infinity. Immediate evacuation recommended.

Dean had even considered deleting the tracker app, feeling secure that his stash of chocolate and bath bombs could deal with anything.  
So it came as a surprise when one day Zoe snapped at him. Sam was out finishing an interview with the victim’s mother. An interview that been interrupted when Dean was -ahem- invited to inspect her bedroom. Thoroughly and repeatedly.

“Dammit, Dean, if you don’t ask them about the other people in the house, how can we know who else to interview? Now the cousin has spooked and gone to ground, when we could have had our hands on him yesterday! You know better than this, you’re not a fucking rookie! If you’d stop nailing every half-way presentable woman you come across, maybe we could get the job done and go home!”

In a chime of divine mercy, Dean’s phone went off. Glancing at the screen, he muttered 'I gotta take this’ and made his escape. Standing outside the motel room, he swiped to read the notification. “Check chocolate.”

“Fuck,” he said.

 

Thankfully the hunt was wrapped up discreetly a couple of hours later.

Dean clapped his hands together. “Zoe! Let us take you out for dinner. I’ve made reservations at that Italian place on the main drag you liked the look of.”

While Zoe got changed, Sam looked suspicious. “Dean, what are you doing?”

“I’ve got to make up some brownie points.” Dean tapped the side of his nose. “I have a plan, Sammy, I have a plan.”

Dinner was nice. Decent food at a real restaurant. A bottle of wine that Zoe had picked.

Even so, Sam was surprised when Zoe agreed to go play pool.

“No hustling, just hanging out like ordinary people,” Dean promised her.

So they played pool and drank beer, laughing and actually enjoying the game for a change as the boys challenged each other to trick shots that became more and more complicated.

Not letting Zoe get away with just randomly knocking at the balls, Dean went full-on Miyagi, talking angles and force and grips. He manhandled her a little, but there was none of the usual flirty 'here let me show you’ schtick. He’d shift her elbow up a little, put a hand in the small of her back so she’d bend right over the table, and then…he’d just move away.

It started to make sense when Sam went to the bar for the next round. A guy on a nearby bar stool leaned over and nodded his head at the pool table. “Your girl over there is getting good. She taken?”

Sam replied automatically, “Uh, no.” And then he turned to look at where Zoe was lining up the next shot, stretched over the table with only one foot on the ground, ass in the air and wiggling a little as she positioned herself, Dean nodding approvingly from the other side of the table.

“Well then, I think I’ll go introduce myself.”

Sam watched him approach, exchange greetings, and accept the other cue stick from Dean. By the time Sam was served and had taken the seat next to Dean, 'Steve’ had started leaning in close to give her pointers. Dean was grinning like a loon, and he even winked when he noticed Sam staring. “Every woman wants to feel wanted, Sammy.”

But it looked like Steve was getting a bit too touchy-feely. Zoe had stopped smiling and was starting to increase the distance from her admirer, obviously not happy, but Steve was oblivious. When she bent over for her next shot, Steve moved in, pressing himself up against her back. She tried to move away but he had her trapped against the table as he started sliding a hand up her thigh.

Zoe was loud and very definitive when she said, “NO! Back off!”

Sam was surprised when Dean put a hand on his arm, holding him back from the confrontation. “This might be even better than getting her laid,” he muttered.

Poor Steve didn’t move, his hand creeping inwards as he crooned, “Oh but sweetheart, I want you so bad.”

Zoe flung her head back, bloodying Steve’s nose and sending him stumbling back a step, far enough for her to swivel and shove him backwards with the cue in her hands like a quarterstaff. “NO means NO.”

Spitting blood, he glared at her. “You bitch!”

Dean’s hand tightened on Sam’s arm. “Stay out of it, she needs to blow off some steam.”

Before Sam can respond, Steve has moved in to 'teach her a lesson’. If the lesson was how to incapacitate a man, he did a pretty good job. A jab to the diaphragm stole his breath, then as he bent over Zoe followed up with an elbow to his chin and a knee to the face. Quick, efficient, and effective.

Zoe points at the panting and bloody man. “Do not try that again, or I will hurt you.”

Turning, Zoe points at the hovering bouncer and the rest of the bar. “No means no,” she says loudly, “anyone who wants to argue with me about it, step on up.”

Steve spits on the floor and appeals to the hovering bouncer. “You gonna let her do this to me?”

The bouncer lifts an eyebrow. “Like the lady said, no means no.” He nods at Sam and Dean as he hauls Steve away.

Zoe is still staring down the room. After a moment’s silence, she returns to the pool table and the shot she had been lining up. As Sam reaches for the dropped cue to continue the game, he can see a small smile on her face.

A waitress appears with another round. “This one’s on me,” she says as she puts three beers next to Dean.

Dean grins. “Shark week, man. How do you not watch that?”


End file.
